I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize