Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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