hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
