The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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