she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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