Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was born a porn star she said
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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