Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
