He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
