I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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