just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
