There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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