if i can run in heels then i can drive
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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