I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
