There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
