The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
