No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
