I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
