she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
