I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
