I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to calm my uterus...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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