I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
