You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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