I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
