Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
