even my farts smell like vagina
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
