Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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