Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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