i would punch a child for taco bell
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
