at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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