Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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