wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
