Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
