This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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