he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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