I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
