The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
