you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we're making bets on your personal life
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
