I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
where are my eyebrows?
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