Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
