It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Two words: nipple clamps
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