i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
