so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
