I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
