This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
