College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
