the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
