omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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