I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
