I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
