OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
