This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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