I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
